Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: You okay if the KidS Go like this?
Oh, I Don'T. I Just. Underwater.
[00:00:22] Speaker B: Good morning, and welcome to the mobile the world according to Germany. We Are ABOut TO Go ON Stage, and What you Heard at the BEgInning Was A FragMEnt of the SoundCheck. Somebody Had A BEAuTIFUL IDEA To OrganizE.
[00:00:40] Speaker C: A SEries OF gigs Which Are Called.
[00:00:43] Speaker B: BrinG A Baby AlOnG GIGS For Young MOthers and Their Babies. SO that'S AcTUaLLY The FIrst OpPorTUnity For Those MOthers To Get OUT. We have 50 or 60 mothers and 50 or 60 babies, so we can.
[00:00:57] Speaker D: Expect lots of screaming, crying, nappy changing, breastfeeding.
[00:01:03] Speaker B: And the Last GiG we did.
[00:01:05] Speaker D: Yeah, we're about To start.
[00:01:07] Speaker B: I'Ll Talk To You after the GIG.
[00:01:10] Speaker D: HeLlO Again. And you could Hear that We Are still Mobile. And I Have a Question for you. There Is SomethinG I Don'T Get. I was sitting and drinking coffee a few minutes ago, and there was this car stopped at the traffic lights with the window open and music blasting. And There Was A SOng. IT Sounded like this, baby, you broke My Heart and Ran Away, Sort Of. And It Got Me Thinking, heart.
WHy Is it that WHen We Talk ABout Something romantic, About Love, About TRagedy Or DrAma, It Is Our Heart?
We have so many Different OrGans In Our bodies. We have Brain, which does Thinking. We have liver, which does cleaning kidneys, lungs. Why none of those organs are involved in anything romantic. There Are no Songs Which Go, baby, you broke My kidney and Ran Away, Or Baby, you Want To Hear My HeartBeat? Baby, you Want To Hear My left Lung collApsing?
No, not really.
[00:02:17] Speaker C: Why?
[00:02:18] Speaker D: Our heart is basically just a muscle which pumps blood. And that's An InteresTinG Question. And Also, this is A GOOd ExamPle Of How GEmInI Brains Work. So Anyway, if you know, Let Me know and we will see you soon. We're Going To Talk About MaRKeTing, about noises, about Our Senses, about how We Corrupt All Those Senses and How we corrupt our reality.
So Talk To you soon, BYe.
[00:02:50] Speaker E: HEllo and welcome Back. Now We Can Continue In Silence. As YOu Can Hear, the Sound is Completely Different. There's no ScReaMiNg.
[00:02:59] Speaker C: Kids.
[00:02:59] Speaker E: AcTUallY, the gig, as I suspected, there were instances of throwing up, breastfeeding, nappy changing. Mothers were happily chatting with each other, singing along, dancing. And kids obviously produced an enormous amount of noise. And they were crawling. They were trying to get to the.
[00:03:18] Speaker C: Stage because they wanted to pull the.
[00:03:19] Speaker E: Cables out of the PA. I think that was one of the best gigs I had for a very long time. Kids are the best audience you can ever have.
[00:03:29] Speaker C: And now we're back. As you could hear, there's less noises, less cars, wind noises, whatever it is. And that's supposed to be a good thing. According to the manual, which I read a few days ago. Manual? About good podcasting, they tell you a lot of good things. They tell you how to market yourself, which topics are best for the podcasting, and they tell you about artwork, about how to present yourself, and then they tell you about the recording itself. They say that it has to be clean, it has to be free of noises. It has to be heavily edited, which means that all the pops, squeaks, breath noises, cats trying to get into my room, everything will have to be cut out. There's a lot of effects and plugins and software programs which can help you to do that. You can compress your voice to sound, even. There are plugins which can automatically detect background noises and cut them out, reverb to sweeten it up, and millions of different effects and plugins. And they all exist for one simple purpose, to make this recording as pleasing to your ear as possible. You could hear now they are noises.
Why do I have to edit it out? Imagine that you have a conversation with somebody. They're always noises. You wouldn't mind sitting outside with somebody, cars passing by, or two ladies talking about something. You wouldn't, of course, know. It will not make your conversation worse in any way, as long as the volume is not too high, and as long as you can hear your partner and you can be heard as well. So why? I spent years and years in different studios all around the world, recording stuff. I recorded more than 50 albums, and I know the process of recording, it's changed over the last 10, 15, 20 years, drastically. Good old biddles would just go to the studio, sit around one microphone, play the song from the beginning to the end, which would be recorded on the magnetic tape, and then the processing will be minimum. Basically, if you hear this music.
[00:06:03] Speaker A: It.
[00:06:03] Speaker C: Is natural, it is real. On one of the songs, actually, you could hear a dog barking because somebody forgot to close the door in the studio.
And then we had all this. Computers, software, digital sound, and millions of different effects started to appear one by one. Now you can auto tune voices, you can change timing, tone of the voice, you can cut and paste, you can modify every instrument in the ways you wouldn't even believe it was possible. Basically, everything you hear from the radio, CDs, streaming services, I'm sorry to say that mostly it is fake. It didn't sound like this when it was sank into the microphone. So what comes in and what comes out, and the difference is huge, you can say, but what's wrong with that? When you want to clean something up? Well, there is not really, but you have to know where to stop, and we never know when to stop. I myself went through this process. I have one of the CDs which I recorded, which is clean.
Each note is perfect, each instrument is perfect. It is so perfect that it's like a synthetic crap. Every sound engineer goes through this process and you cut this out. You cut this out, and then you cut this noise and you correct this note. You can't stop. You start cutting out breath noises and fret noises, and then you end up with a track which is devoid of any life. It's like processed food, where all the nutrition taken out, and it has zero value as a food, but it is very pleasing. Why? Because it's packed with sugar, for example. So you know that sugar is more addictive than cocaine. So that what brings the value of this processed stuff up? Anyway, I try not to deviate too much from our original topic, which is noise. And I told you, noise is a natural part of our world. So I'm not going to edit this audio. If you can hear what I am saying, that is good enough for me. Now, about sweetening it up. In this manual, they have few suggestions about how to modify your voice so it would be more pleasing to the ear. How do you make your voice to be more desirable? Now, we'll make a huge leap into the origins of the universe, and we will get philosophical. But please bear with me and try to follow my line of reasoning. Okay, if you believe old, late, great Albert Einstein and Orion Vedas, or Slavic Vedas, the oldest books on the planet. This world is ruled by two main energies, ying and yang, male and female.
Now, we can jump straight back to my favorite character, Homo erectus. You know that there is still a huge dispute going on about who actually was the first person on the planet which could be classified as human being. And one of those names is Homo erectus. I love the sound of this word. And please don't think that it has anything to do with sexual references. Absolutely not. For me, Homo erectus sounds like somebody highly aware, energetic, able, and ready to function. It's a very good and strong and positive word. So just to hear it out, Homo erectus, I love it. The life of a Homo erectus was very simple before the development of his thinking abilities, because as every living organism on this planet, he was programmed with only two tasks, two basic instincts, to survive and to manage the survival of the species. That's it. Nothing else. So what do you need to survive? You need fuel, food, if there is no food, there is no life. And all the rest, clothes, car, house, bank account, it's all optional. You choose to have all of this, but you cannot eat your car, and you cannot eat money. No food, no life. And the second basic instinct is reproduction, sex. So basically, everything in this world is about food and sex. And before we continue, those of you with a creative disposition. Wait a second. We will get to you in a minute. Those two basic instincts rule every living organism on the planet. And everything you do is slave to those two processes. Now, there are a few caveats. The energy of creation can manifest itself in completely different ways. There are composers, musicians, architects, writers, philosophers. And by the way, in those instances, it is not limited by the age for health. You feel sexual drive when you are in the childbearing or child producing state, and when you are in a good health. But when we're talking about this creative energy in general, it has no physical limitations. It doesn't matter what age you are. It doesn't matter the state of your health. Mozart started to write music when he was four or five years old, for example.
So now when the creative people are catered for, we will get back to the reproductive, physical activities.
So how does it work? Female, who is responsible for creating new life, what would be the qualities she would be looking for? Not consciously, because everything is programmed. Obviously, she would look for somebody in a prime of its health. And so what do we find attractive in opposite gender? Why is it that big breasts are thought to be attractive? Aesthetically pleasing. Why aesthetically pleasing? What is aesthetically pleasing? No, the big breasts are the indication of a healthy woman in a childbearing age being able to produce a lot of food for the baby, all based on practicalities. Health. And what is healthy is supposed to be beautiful. This is how it developed during the times. So back to the marketing. Let's be honest. All of us, we sell products and we sell services. And I'm really sorry to say that my music is a product. Any activity for which you are getting paid is a product. And this is what is paying my bills. This is how I get my food. So, yes, my music, my classes, they are products which I sell. And I have to market my products. So people would want to hear my music and they would want to take classes with me. And in this instance, I have to modify my voice so people would want to hear it day and night.
And how do I do that? Well, the low male voice sounds much more attractive than. You know what I mean? Swear to God, I'll dick you. And why is that? Ladies say, oh, size doesn't matter? Well, excuse me. Apparently it does. Because the bigger animal is, the more capable he is. And the bigger animal is the deeper voice he has. So a deep male voice indicates big, strong, child producing animal. Therefore, a deep, resonant male voice is attractive, pleasing to your ears. Here you go. There's nothing to do with aesthetics, just pure practicality. Somebody who sounds like this is obviously much more desirable than somebody who sounds like this. That's why in this manual, they tell you to put equalization on your voice, take out high frequencies and get as much bass as possible so you sound deep and desirable. Hey, babe, you want to hear my heartbeat? But just think about heart. Why heart? I just can't stop thinking about this. You broke my hand and ran away.
Really, Davy? You want to hear my lung being collapsed?
You want to hear my kidney filtering all those minerals? Sexy, right?
So this is a part about the sound and about production.
By the way, how do you make your products desirable? Let's take away everything which has anything to do with addiction. Stimulants, drugs, alcohol, tobacco and coffee. Painkillers. And any other chemical which changes the perception of reality. All those chemicals, we can leave them aside. Then. What else? Well, obviously, everything which might sound like it has anything to do with or first or second basic instinct. Food or sex. And we all know what is the best selling product in the world. Sex. The music, which sounds sexy is sold much better. The dress, which could make you look sexier or you think that it might make you look sexier is selling better. Everything has references to sex. Even car manufacturers talking about sexy lines. Everything has to be sexy. Everything has to be desirable. Everything has a reference to sex. To make sure that you sell as many products or services as possible. And now just try to think, how do you make your vegetables look sexy? Well, make them look healthy. Not make them healthy, but make them look healthy. Because, again, health is original condition in which you produce healthy offspring. Obviously, we're talking about the majority of the cases, but obviously they are.
Sorry, got to go. See you in a minute.
[00:17:00] Speaker E: Hello.
[00:17:00] Speaker C: I'm sorry about this interruption. This hissing noise you heard. It was my pressure cooker. Not very happy pressure cooker. But I forgot that he's sitting there waiting for me to attend to its needs while I was pontificating about the sex and marketing and it nearly exploded. And those of you who are lucky enough to have one. I mean, the pressure cooker. You know what might happen when you forget about it? The contents of this thing could end up on a ceiling. Very dramatic. It happened to me once and I've been traumatized for quite a long time. And while I was trying to pacify this device, I just thought, Jesus Christ, I just spent half an hour preaching about sex and marketing. What the hell I'm talking know, when I play, I don't think about marketing, I don't think about basic instincts. I just try to play the best I can and I love to see audience happy. So don't take anything I said seriously. And in any case, it was not the truth. It was just one of the sides of the story. And you yourself might agree or not agree. Let me know anyway if you have any ideas on the subject. And in our next podcast we are going to talk about the rest of the senses and how we corrupt our sensorial system, and why in some of the religious books it's considered to be a deadly sin, and how all of that will bring the end of humanity as we know it. We are going to be very dramatic. And for the moment I really have to go and see what is the story with this infernal device, if it's still alive. And I would like to thank you very much and I'm going to see you very soon. Thank you and God bless.
Oh.
