Episode Transcript
Ho, ho, ho. Happy Christmas. I'm, um, sorry. I was rehearsing. I was preparing myself for my podcast. Anyway, hello, everyone, and welcome to the World According to Gemini, a Christmas edition. This, of course, it's all about Christmas. It's all about 'Ho Ho, Ho' and 'Let it snow, Let it snow' and 'Rudolph the Red Nose', but to be honest, the only red noses I see right now, they belong to the people. Everyone has red nose and everyone is sneezing, coughing. Of course! Our nervous systems and our immune systems cannot take this stress. First of all - shopping. You all know what happens in the shops. You see those hordes of people darting from one shelf to another, grabbing everything they can put their hands on, spending all their money, emptying their bank accounts and maxing up their credit cards and ending up with hundreds of items of no practical value whatsoever. But I'm sorry, I have to correct myself. There is one item on Christmas, shopping list which actually can be used throughout the year. We all know those horrid Christmas sweaters which we force our kids to wear. When you have your Uncle Sean or Auntie Mary coming from County Athlone, and you kids go, 'No, please, please, please!!!!'. But when it's over, if you live in a modern Irish house, not in a Georgian or Victorian house, a modern Irish house, which means that it's 10 degrees less than outside, they're cold and damp, you can use those sweaters to insulate your house. You can stick them under the door, and you can insulate your windows. So you can spend the rest of your winter moderately warm. And it is not going to cost you a penny. So here is a good Christmas idea for you. Then we have our food situation. We buy lots of quite heavy stuff, we cook a lot, and we eat maybe five times more than we usually eat. So we end up with cases of indigestion, constipation, blood sugar spikes, insulin spikes. Then we have to deal with members of our extended family, all those uncles and aunties and cousins, which we haven't seen for the whole year. And now we have to talk to them and pretend that we like each other, which is very stressful as well. So, of course, all together, it results in us getting sick. Um, there's one thing I have to admit, you probably know from my podcast, that I spend my life riding my white horse, pontificating and teaching everyone how to live their lives. But I'm a hypocrite because I never follow my own advice. For example, this Christmas shopping, insane but do you know what I did few hours ago? Yes, I went shopping. Well, the only difference is that when you have your Christmas shopping list, you would have something about 755 items. I had only two. The first item on my list was a diary. And, I need my diary, because without diary, I'm lost in the space. Diary tells me what to do, how to lead my life, and what to expect, so it is an essential item. And the second item was a pair of socks. I did a revision of my 'garderobe', and I found out that I have only three, not three pairs, but three socks left. And they all are of different origin, different shape, different color, and two of them have holes in it. So, it is quite important thing to buy. And I went to the shop a few hours ago, and I saw this demented crowd darting from shelf to shelf. I actually saw a young woman sitting on the floor and weeping. Something happened, like her credit card got declined and it was a last straw which broke her back. And I just looked at all of this and I said, 'Oleg, run for the sake of your sanity, run!'. And so I did. And so I have my diary and I'm still sockless, but it's not a big deal. I mean, if you look at me, I look presentable. And who would be able to see that my socks are of a different color and they have holes in it? Nobody can. So I think I can do without.
Now, there's one interesting thing I have to tell you. I have to warn you, I'm going to jump from one subject to another, but it all is connected, trust me. Next thing, we are going to talk about universal mysteries. You know, we live in the 20s. Well, what is it now, 21st. Yes, 21st century. And we figured out the most of the things about our galaxy, about our planet, about our physical world. We have science, we are clever, we know everything, more or less, except one thing. We know nothing about gravity. And, um, don't talk to me about Sir Isaac Newton, because it was childish explanation of gravity. It's not. It's not even serious. The next gentleman, who was much more thorough, his name was Albert Einstein, a genius, one of the most important physicists of our time. And so he came up with something much more complex, like bending space and all of this. But even him, at the end of his life, he admitted that his explanation doesn't hold any water. And so nobody knows. You know, if you are listening to my podcast, you know that I love to talk about science or about philosophy or about psychology about medicine, about diet and about all this. And I make a lot of statements, sometimes scandalous statements, but I never quote anyone, I never prove anything. Because you are such nice people, you believe everything I say because you know that I'm such a trustworthy character, right? But, uh, it's not always the case. Sometimes I am required to speak in public and sometimes I'm required to bring some kind of proof of my statements. About five or six months ago, there was one of those occasions, I had to do little series of talks for the Department of Education. And at some point we're talking about those basic physical forces in our universe, which include gravity. And I had to get some quotes. So I did a little bit of research and I ended up in a NASA website. And as you know, NASA has best of the best creme de la creme of scientific society because NASA was stealing scientists from all around the world. They have scientists from Nazi Germany who were working on V rockets and jet engines and chemical warfare. There are thousands of Soviet scientists who escaped a communist regime during the 90s. They have a lot of Chinese dudes who escaped Mao Zedong and so on and so on. So they have best of the best. And this guy, he is one of the leading scientists of NASA. And there was an interview where he specifically spoke about gravity. And he admitted that no one in the whole universe can give a, uh, more or less reasonable explanation of what gravity is. So this is one mystery of the world. Gravity. And then there is another mystery which is a so called enigma. A Russian soul. When immigration from Soviet Union started, there was a lot of liberal writers and politicians who started to talk about this Enigmatic Russian soul. My arse!!! We have a century of communist brainwashing propaganda. The majority of our scientific, military intelligence, writers, musicians, composers, people who could read, people who could think, they were exterminated. So we, the descendants of brainwashed workers and farmers and we spent all our lives drowning in bad quality alcohol. So that's our enigmatic Russian soul. And there is a third mystery, mystery of socks. No, don't laugh. This is actually a real enigma. I'm sure you all know when you do your laundry, you load 10 socks in your washing machine, you close the door and then you open the door in 30 minutes time and there will be only nine socks. One sock will always be missing. It happens every single time. It doesn't matter what you load in, you can load in the whole lots of different things. Trousers, shorts, T shirts, your neighbor's cat, cigarettes, ten socks. And then everything will come out exactly the way you put it in. Well, except the cat. And one sock will be missing. That's it. And no one can explain where those socks went. And the thing is, you can load those socks and you can stand outside and watch this washing machine, and still the result will be the same. The sock will be gone. How? I have no idea. If anyone can explain this phenomenon to me, I will be very grateful. So that's mystery number three. Socks. Mystery number one, Gravity. We already covered it. Now let's go to mystery number two, which is an Enigmatic Soviet Soul. You see, I'm not saying Russian, because Russia is completely different country, which I don't know very well. I am a Sovok. Sovok is somebody who was born, raised and educated in Soviet Union. Soviet Union is a completely different universe. It's different philosophy, different psychology, different mentality. We are so different, you have no idea. I will give you one example of how different our mentality is. You know that in the middle of the last century, we had this Cold War between Soviet Union and United States. It's like two teenagers boasting, you know, I have a bigger balls and I have a longer this and I have bigger this. Um, that was exactly what we were doing. We were competing with each other who can build the biggest nuclear device.
[00:10:47] And, um, there were a lot of things which were happening during this Cold War which people just didn't know about. And one of those occasions. So, first of all, a few questions. How would you know that your neighbor has produced something big and bad and dangerous? How? Now, it's very easy because you have satellites, and satellite technology is very advanced, and satellite now can read your newspaper from the orbit. In the 1950s, it was not the case. The only way Americans could detect anything was a seismological station. Because a, uh, nuclear explosion produces boom, which results in a spike in seismological activity. And then Americans would measure this spike and would say, 'Okay, they have detonated something which is, I don't know, 1.5 kiloton yield or whatever'. I don't know the numbers. And so Americans built a seismological station in Alaska, which was very close to the Soviet Union. That's the first point we have to know. The second is communication. Now, it's very easy. Let's say that you are one of those ecological warriors and you plan something. You decide that it might be a good idea to go to one of the museums and to throw soup on Mona Lisa or to go and to burn some Van Goghs as you do in order to fight for the ecology. And then you decide to go and glue yourself to the tarmac on M50 and stop traffic for five hours and make 15,000 people very irritated, which will definitely help your cause. So what do you do? How do you go about this? It's very easy. You have your mobile phones, you have your TikTok, you have your Facebook, um, you just put a group message, let's go and burn some Van Goghs. So then world will be a better place. Now in the 1950s we didn't have any mobile phones. And when government wanted to address all millions and millions of Soviet citizens.... Yeah, of course we had newspapers, well, we had some television. Uh, not everybody had tv, radio. We had those radio points which were called 'Radio Tochka'. We had them everywhere, in every single apartment, in every toilet, in every car, in every bus, in every school, even on the streets. So everyone was contactable. If you can say that in English, I don't know. Now, Soviets were running out of resources, out of money, out of materials, but they always had plenty of ideas. And so one of the engineers came up with a brilliant idea. As you know, in eastern Siberia, close to Alaska, we had thousands of concentration camps where we had millions of political prisoners. And of course in every barrack, in every building, everywhere we had those radio points. So what they did, they forced 5.7 million political prisoners to jump at once. And they were ordered to jump as high as possible and to hit the ground as hard as possible. At exactly 9 o'clock they were listening to the radio. It was like 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Jump!. And so they did and they produced a seismic, uh, equivalent of an explosion of a middle sized nuclear device. Ingenious!!!. So that is a good example of Soviet mentality.
Now we can come back to the uh, main topic of my podcast, which is a difference in the style of celebrating in the West and in the East.
I'm sure you all saw those videos from the Red Square where you have triumphant masses walking through the Red Square in front of uh, Politburo, chanting, 'Long live this and long live this', Waving placards and balloons and flowers and all of this. Now what you didn't see is what happens after all this mass exits the Red Square. Imagine you are together before the demonstration. You are not allowed to leave and you have to wait there sometimes for three or four hours. And then you march through the square and what happens? Just think about this, your bladder is bursting. And uh, what you can see after the exit from the Red Square, you see those masses running for their lives. All those placards and balloons are being thrown on the streets and everybody running to find this little corner when they go and relieve themselves. And it does not matter if you're a man or woman or old person or kid, it does not matter. This is a democracy. This is unity. There were rivers of urine of different colors. And that was a real triumph of, you know, all those demonstrations. And I'm really sorry for being so graphic, but I mean that's, that's what I saw with my own eyes. And I, um, want to tell you about one of those demonstrations when we were ordered to take part in this triumphant procession. Every office, every college and factory and school, they had a quota. So our college had to provide a certain number of students. And from our course they took two people, me and my friend. And to add insult to the whole scenario, we had to bring our own balloons. For God's sake!. This was Soviet Union in 1983, I think, or 82. The shops were empty, so we spent few hours, we couldn't find any balloons. And then my friend had this beautiful idea. We went into one of the Aptekas, which is a 'Chemist' in Russian, and we bought few packs of condoms. Then we went home and we took few colored pens and we decorated those condoms. They looked spectacular. And the next morning we woke up at 6:00 and went to the Red Square. There were lots of people there and they were half drunk and they were cranky. Some of them had balloons, some of them didn't. And nobody paid any attention to what we had. And that was till the point of entry to the Red Square, because we were spotted by the KGB dudes who were hanging about, wearing identical suits. We got extracted from this happy flock, arrested and brought to the police station. And there was this lieutenant who started to shout at us. He said, 'Sacrilege! You are komsomol, you are Soviet students! What, were you going to go and march in front of the members of the Politburo with a pack of condoms? Who were your ideological masters?!'... and all this.
And at some point I just told him, 'Come on, Comrade Lieutenant, now really, what ideological masters? You know yourself, the shops are empty, we couldn't find any balloons. So that was the best we could come up with. And you see the amount of work we put in with all those little pictures and smiles and stars and flowers. Come on!!!'. He thought for a moment, and then suddenly he smiled. He said, 'You know what? Just get out of my sight. Leave the condoms here. My wife's gonna love them'. So that was my own experience of those demonstrations. But now we're going to talk about the Christmas and New Year time. We don't have Christmas because Christmas is a religious celebration, and everything religious was frowned upon in the Soviet Union. And so we only had a New Year. But New Year was a massive celebration. Everybody would start preparing for the New Year two or three or four months in advance.
First of all, uh, you know, you buy things here in the West as presents and souvenirs. Our thing was food, because you cannot buy anything because shops were empty. We had some basic food like milk and potatoes and bread, but anything else was absent. It was called 'Deficit', like red caviar, black caviar, smoked fish, cured meat, cured sausage, real champagne, real cognac, boxes of chocolate, all of that. It existed somewhere in a parallel space. It was available to the members of the Communist Party and to the elite of the society. But it was impossible to buy it in the shops. So you had to be very inventive. You had to have your connections. You could go to the black market, or you had to learn how to enter shops from the 'Black door', as it was called. And as a result, in every house, in every table during the New Year, we all had those goodies like caviar, smoked fish, champagne and cognac. If you were of a sophisticated origin, then you would have a real champagne. If you were one of those unwashed, like I was, then you would have to do with thing, uh, which was called 'Salut', a very sweet wine with bicarbonate of soda added so it could produce a lot of foam. Then you would have an indigestion for the next two weeks. And cognac, well, if you're lucky, you'd get Georgian or Moldovan or Armenian cognacs, which actually are the best in the world. And I'm sorry, to my French friends, your cognac, you can't compare it to good Armenian or Georgian or Moldovan cognac. There is no comparison. It's a different universe.
So this is food. And also, obviously, we would cook. The main thing during the New Year celebration was salads. And one of the salads I want to mention in particular, because this salad had a practical role to play. It was called Olivie and it was a mash. Everything was boiled, potatoes, boiled carrots, boiled peas, lots of mayonnaise. So it was very soft. And it was served in big bowls. Why?
Because when you drink, and you would start drinking at about 9 o'clock and you will start with few glasses of vodka, then you drink your champagne, then you drink your cognac, then you drink your wine. So you would be drinking for 7, 8, 9 hours, non stop. And what would happen? Eventually, at some point, some of the guests might start losing consciousness, as it usually happens. And then what you do, you just, you fall on the table and you bump your head against the table. And this is where this salad would come very handy because it would serve as a pillow to soften the blow. So you just fall asleep in this salad bowl.
What else? Oh yeah. The celebration was first of all, of course, then you wait for the bell from the Kremlin to do 12:00 and everybody starts kissing each other. But the most important part was the speech from our General Secretary of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union. And so we had this person, his name was Leonid Ilyich Brezhnev. We had him for about 700 years or maybe 800 years. And for the last 200 he was half dead. He could not speak, he could not move, he could not see. He didn't make any sense. He was even worse than Biden. And, in this speech he would talk about the victory of socialism on the whole planet, about how great and strong we are. And the moment which every single household in Soviet Union was waiting for was the moment when he would start mentioning socialist countries, for one simple reason. If you say socialist countries in Russian, it sounds like this. @@@@@@@@@@@ It's quite difficult to say even if you are sober, but if you are half dead, person who is 700 years old with severe speech impediment, it sounded like this @@@@@@@@@@ And if you say that to your Google translator, it comes up as 'Shit Sausages' or 'Sausages made out of shit'. It was hilarious. And, millions of people were waiting for this particular moment. And that was a moment when the whole country would erupt in laughter. After that we had more drinks. And the second part of the celebratory program was a film. It is very interesting. Every year we were shown the same movie. Uh, that was movie which was called 'S Legkim Parom'. This is a romantic love story about two young people. There's this guy, he's an office worker, nothing special. He meets up with his friends. And on the 31st of December, they go to celebrate in the Turkish bath. We call it 'Banya', like a sauna. And what do you do in sauna? You drink. And so they were drinking, drinking, drinking, drinking. Till they drank themselves to the state of singularity. And then this guy wakes up and sees this beautiful woman looking at him in horror and saying, 'What the hell are you doing in my house?' And he looks around, and he couldn't understand anything because it's his own house. And then there's this distressed woman. It's a mystery!!! It's not really. It's all very simple. You see, the thing is that at that time, 100% of all apartments in cities or all apartment blocks were identical. They had exactly the same shape, you had exactly the same furniture, colors, plumbing, keys and locks were identical. And so this dude drank himself to the state of oblivion, somehow got into the taxi, ended up in the airport and flew in a different city. He was from Moscow, but he ended up in St. Petersburg. And then he saw the house. He thought that this apartment block was his own. And he went, uh, to his floor and he took his key, which fit, opened the door, came in, and it looked exactly like his own flat. Then he went to his bedroom, which looked exactly like his own bedroom. And then he saw the bed, which looked exactly like his own bed. And he went to sleep. And that was the story. Now, this is a very interesting part that all foreigners who saw this movie would be amazed at this fact that this guy drank so much that he ended up in a different city. But for, for us there was absolutely nothing special. I mean, come on. There's one example for you. I have a friend. Many years ago, he went to see his friend in Frankfurt. And so they had a little dinner and they had a couple of drinks, and then they had another couple of drinks. And then in one week time, they woke up at the police station in Dover, United Kingdom. Uh, what happened is that they were extracted from under the train in the tunnel. Of course, they were arrested straight away. And, uh, because, let's be honest, it is a slightly unconventional way of traveling. So British police contacted their French counterparts and French said, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Excuse moi. It is impossible. Our security is very strong. And the only way those two were able to slip through our net is that they probably are highly trained to individuals. They are probably, Special Forces or Spetsnaz which was a good explanation. And so British police started to ask questions like, who were your masters and why were you sent here and what is your purpose? What do you have to blow up or sabotage? And my friend was like, 'Come on dudes, we're not Spetsnaz. I'm a computer programmer for God's sake. And my friend is a musician. He's a cello player. We just had a couple of drinks. We had a good time. That's it. It's not a big deal. I'm sorry!'. So that's, you know, that's another story. Anyway, we have covered our New Year celebration. Oh yeah, one more thing. You have Santa Claus and we don't. We have somebody who is called Ded Moroz and Snegurochka. Ded Moroz is Father Frost and Snegurochka is his granddaughter
By the way, it was a very good gig for the actors in Soviet Union to make a quick few rubles. And if you are physically strong and fast, you could make a decent amount of money because few hours before Christmas you would be required to start visiting those places, offices and schools and whatever it is. Uh, so the routine was very simple. You come in and you say, 'Hello everybody! I wish you happiness in the New Year!'. That's it. And then you drink your two, three glasses of vodka and then you go to the next place and then to next place and next place and next place. That's it. So if you're good, you can do 10 visits, for example.
Now by the way, something very interesting. I keep hearing this nonsense more and more about inclusivity, equality and all of this. Wow. You know, a couple of months ago there was this story about this dude boxer who beat up a woman in a boxing competition. And then there's a story about this 2 meters tall dude who was allowed to swim against women. And of course he won every single medal. And I'm hearing more and more stories about men who are allowed to use little girls bathrooms and changing rooms and all this. Why? Because we all are the same. Because of this inclusivity and because, of equality and God sake, God help you people, honestly, really!!! Um, anyway, I have to tell you one thing. We learned that men and women are different biologically and anatomically and otherwise. You know how? Very simple. You remember I told you that Ded Moroz and Snegurochka were required to start those visits. And with every visit you are given two or three glasses of vodka. Right? So you do one visit, then another visit, then third, fourth, fifth. And at the last two or three visits it would be only Ded Moroz without Snegurochka. Snegurochka would be sleeping off somewhere in one of the offices or she would be taken home by taxi or something like that. Because Ded Moroz is a male. And an average Soviet male is able to consume about 2.5 liters of hard liquor. And Snegurochka was a female and female is only able to consume around 1.5. litres. That's it. Here you go. No, male boxer should not be allowed to beat a woman because they're not the same. All right, anyway, last part of my podcast. Uh, I'm sorry it's getting a little bit too long, but I'll finish very soon. I'm going to tell you about the celebration in the Armed Forces of Soviet Union because of course we are people as well, and we had to celebrate. I mean we didn't celebrate, our officers did. We had places which were called 'Clubs'. It's like a uh, arts center. In every division or garrison or a company. The officers and their wives would have this huge table, drinks, food, and they would be celebrating. As I said, it was very difficult to buy anything is the shop. So all the decorations, they were handmade. The officers wives would spend days cutting them from colored paper and gluing them together and gluing sparks on them. It was beautiful. And we had a corporal, he brought his own decoration once. It was the year 1985. He brought a hand grenade, F1, which was called Limonka. Just to let you know, the kill zone of Limonka is about 30 meters. 30 meters of shredded flesh. That was his decoration. So he brought it in and tied it up to the Christmas tree. And the thing is that nobody minded very much.
And what happened in exactly the same year, 1985, that of course they had Ded Moroz. Snegurochka wasn't really allowed, because you know, soldiers, officers, you don't really want any external females there just in case. So this was just Ded Moroz going from battalion to battalion doing this customary greetings and blah blah blah blah blah. And this year it was very cold. I think it was like minus 30, minus 35. At the gates of our battalion we had the tower where the soldier with the machine gun was protecting our integrity. And uh, there was a dude from Kazakhstan. And as you know, Kazakhstan is Middle Asia and they have plus 40, plus 45. They practically never have snow. So it was particularly difficult for this dude to be in minus 30. So he was not happy. He was half frozen and he had to spend five or six hours there. And, uh, Ded Moroz was given a password for each battalion. And when Ded Moroz approached our gate, this soldier called out and he said, 'Parole!!!', (the password). And Ded Moroz, of course, who was drunk completely, he forgot this parole. So he told him to go and to, you know, to do something with himself.... as you do. And so our, Middle Asian gentleman, he shot Ded Moroz. Well, why I'm laughing, because he didn't actually shoot him. He missed. Then officers ran in because they heard the shot and they took the Ded Moroz and they brought him in and they gave him vodka. And this Ded Moroz slept the rest of the night somewhere in the corner. So that was our Army New Year celebration. And the last thing I'm going to tell you about our, uh, celebration Christmas celebration, which I witnessed few days ago in Dublin, a little beautiful story which happened to me. I was given this gig in one of the posh hotels where they wanted me to play some classical music and some Christmas songs.
So I came in and started to play some Vivaldi. There was a table on the left, maybe 15, 20 ladies. And they were chatting away, they had a few drinks and they brought their kids with them. Mostly they were girls. There were maybe eight or ten girls. And of course girls were all by themselves. They were running around making a lot of. One of them came to me and he said, can you play over the Rainbow? And I said, of course, darling. Can you sing? And she said yes. And she did. Oh, where the rainbow. Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. So we had the time of our lives. And at some point you can see that the girl started to get a little bit restless and then started to get tired and bored. And then one of the ladies turned around and said, 'Becky, Jessie, take the key, go to my room and bring some toys'. And so the girls ran up and they came down with a full box of those plastic sparkly things, presents and souvenirs and toys. And there were some teddies and dolls and magic wands and all this, you know, Christmas stuff. And they were very happy. And, uh, I was playing, I didn't really pay much attention. And then one of the girls, she was about maybe six or seven years old, very young, innocent. She got this toy, it was red and it had a big suction cup, massive, heavy duty. It was like a toilet plunger. And she stuck this thing to the table in front of me and then she tried to take it off and it wouldn't. It got stuck completely because as I said, this plunger was heavy duty. And so she was trying for a while and then she pressed something. So apparently there was a button and apparently this toy was electrical. And then suddenly this toy started to produce this 'Bzzzzzzzzzz'.
And that was a moment when I looked at this toy. I don't even know how to put it. It was an absolutely gigantic vibrator. It was massive and it was very realistic. And this young innocent girl obviously didn't have a slightest idea what that thing was. This buzzing was quite loud. So, I pretended that I didn't see it. I was playing Vivaldi. But then one of the ladies noticed and then another. And then in a minute there was a total silence and I was busy pretending that I don't see this thing, which was very difficult because it was buzzing and the girl was still trying to take it off the table. One of the mothers, she just walked up to this thing and apparently she knew exactly what to press. She took it off and then she stopped this buzzing. Then she looked at me and she said, 'Shut up!!!'. And then she went back to the table. So that's it. Right now I'm going to say Happy Christmas and Happy New Year and I will hopefully talk to you very soon. And I'm going to give you a little example of one of the Christmas tracks which I found. Do you know this guy? His name is Joe Peski He's a famous Hollywood actor. His characters are very rough, volatile gangsters, Mafiosi, you know, very rough characters. But do you know that this person has a very gentle side to him? And I'll tell you how I know. Because I was looking for the Christmas tracks. I didn't want to do all this Rudolph and Red Nose and Jungle Bell and whatever it is. I wanted to find something new and so I did. Joe Pesky apparently is a musician and a singer. He recorded a Christmas song. Would you believe that this bad boy boy turned out to be very gentle character. So anyway, I'm going to show you a little extract from this track. And on this note, I bid you goodbye. I love you all and I'll talk to you very soon.
(A song starts)
'If it doesn't snow on Christmas how's fat ass gonna use that sleigh?
In case of rain, would there be a train that'll speed em on his way?
If it doesn't snow this Christmas. How's fat ass get around to us?
Say he breaks down on his way.....
Goodbye.
